Lyrics for Lisa – My Blood

Lisa was always running from something. Running in any direction that might provide an escape. Running straight towards people that would hurt her. Maybe her anxiety made her believe that was all she deserved. My parents and I tried to to stop her from running. We begged her to slow down, to see her worth. But, anxiety keeps you moving, running as fast as you can. Lisa couldn’t outrun her anxiety.

One day I heard our lifelong plea to Lisa as a song: 

Stay with me
No, you don’t need to run
Stay with me
My Blood

When I heard My Blood I knew immediately that this was our song. The perfect portrayal of what I would have done for my sister and what I know she would have done for me too. There are so many reasons this song is perfect for us. 

Anger has been a big part of my grief – as I know it is for many people. This song expresses my anger towards myself, towards Lisa and especially towards others. There is so much blame to go around. People that deserted Lisa in her greatest time of need. Bullies. They know who they are. I wanted to destroy them. I always wanted to protect Lisa and this song is the epitome of protecting someone – protecting your blood. I only wish this song had been released while Lisa was still alive. Could these lyrics have stopped Lisa from running?

Could have, should have, would have is another feeling this song evokes in me. If I think back with a clear head I know that I fought and kicked and screamed many, many times for my sister. But, I can still sit here now and pinpoint even the smallest example of a time I could have tried harder. I was so frustrated over the last year that Lisa continued to spend time with terrible people. I had been pleading with her for years to realize her worth. Lisa may have made her mistakes but she deserved so much better and she was a better person a million times over than the people she surrounded herself with. Lisa was a kind and gentle soul. That alone made her a better person. 

I guess this is the part where I give advice. Grief is torture so hopefully this advice can help even one person. Do not take your loved ones – especially your blood – for granted even one second. In the important times, especially if they are struggling or hurting, no matter how frustrating it is for you stay focused and resilient. Unfortunately, this doesn’t resonate until you lose someone. But please try. Make sure they know you love them. Scream it to the mountain tops. Play this song for them so they really understand how far you will go to protect your family. 

I would give anything to go back and show every second of every day that I would go with Lisa no matter what. That no matter what trouble she was facing I would face it with her.

Could have. Should have Would have.

Did Lisa know how much I loved her? Did she know that I would have fought by her side? These are the questions I will spend the rest of my life contemplating. 

If you find yourself In a lion’s den
I’ll jump right in and pull my pin
And go with you, I’ll go with you
My Blood, I’ll go with you

Lisa, I dedicate this song to you. This song represents my forever love and dedication to you, my sister, my blood.